24-Heaven - Quotes

Jack Bauer: "I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and today is the longest day of my life." [Episode Intro's - Recurring]

Tony Almeida: "I don't know, Jack. If we start screening Palmer, they might think we're investigating him because he's black."
Jack Bauer: "That's because we are investigating him because he's black. That makes him the most likely target."

David Palmer: "Today is going to be the second most important day of my life."
Sherry Palmer: "And what would the first one be?"
David Palmer: "I think you know."
Sherry Palmer: "Well, I still like to hear you say it."
David Palmer: "All right. The most important day of my life.... was when I hit the game-winning three against DePaul at the Final Four."
Sherry Palmer: "You just lost my vote, Senator!"

Jack Bauer: "Do you think it's possible that someone within the agency is behind the hit on Palmer?"
Nina Myers: "Anything's possible."

David Palmer: "Keep going like this, and you'll be dead in five years."

Jack Bauer: "Who do you work for?"
Nina Myers: "I work for you!"

Tony Almeida: "This is Almeida at CTU. Look, you better get down here fast. Jack Bauer needs to be relieved of his command."

George Mason: "Off the record, what is so special about Jack Bauer?"

Sherry Palmer: "There's been an assassination attempt."
David Palmer: "That's what all the fuss is about? And I thought it was something serious."

Aaron Pierce: "I don't think you appreciate the seriousness of this threat."
David Palmer: "I get serious threats every morning with my orange juice."

Jessie Hampton: "CTU. What the hell is that?"
Jack Bauer: "Counter Terrorist Unit. Officer, this guy is not waiting around for me so you better shoot me or help me but decide now."

Ira Gaines: "Be good and you'll be back at the mall in a day or two, be bad you won't."

Ira Gaines: "There's no such thing as sorta dead. Here, let me show you..." [shoots Dan]

Ira Gaines: "Now say something."
Jack Bauer: "If you hurt my daughter, I will kill you."
Ira Gaines: "Good. There's a nice clear signal."

Ira Gaines: "Now bury your friend."
Rick Allen: "Where? "
Ira Gaines: (sarcastically) "In the ground."

Jack Bauer: "If Alan York is dead, who is the man with my wife?"
Ira Gaines: "He's not an accountant from the valley, that's for sure."

Nina Myers: "You've got a gun on me Jack. I don't think it gets any worse."

Jack Bauer: "I used to be in the military. Used to do field work for the CIA. I've been to some horrible places. I've seen some pretty terrible things...I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life."

Jack Bauer: "I have killed two people since midnight. I have not slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are right now."

Jack Bauer: "You don't believe me, do you? If I were you, I wouldn't believe me either."

Andre Drazen: "If Plan A fails you go to Plan B, not Plan A recycled."

Young Student: "My daddy says Georgetown sucks."
David Palmer: "I'll have to have a little talk with your daddy."
Young Student: "My daddy also says there will never be a black president in this country. Ever."
David Palmer: "Will you give your daddy a message for me?. Tell him, I understand where he's coming from, but he's wrong. And I'm gonna prove it."

Eli: "Who is this?"
Jack Bauer: "I'm the last thing you will ever see if you hurt my wife or daughter."

Jack Bauer: "You ever heard of the Russian gulag?"
Ted Cofell: "What?"
Jack Bauer: "Strings of prisons in Northern Siberia. Russians didn't have much equipment up there, so they had to deal with what was around, sort of what I'm doing right now. You probably don't think I can thrust this towel down your throat, but trust me I can, all the way. Except I hold on to this tiny bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest it, I pull it out, taking your stomach lining with it. Most people take about a week to die. It's very painful."
Ted Cofell: "What kind of man are you?"

Nina Myers: "You want me to put together an interrogation profile in 15 minutes?"
Jack Bauer: "I'll give you about five."

Jack Bauer: "Alberta, you may have my office, but if you want to do my job, listen up."

Neill: "What happened to you?"
Kevin Carroll: "I had a fight with your wife."

David Palmer: "I'm running for president, Mike. I'm going to win."

Ira Gaines: "Bauer's been listening... to every damn word!"

Rick: "I can't."
Jack Bauer: "Shut up. You can and you will."
Rick: "I'm slowing you down."
Jack Bauer: "Yes, you are, so you better start speeding up."

Tony Almeida: "Let me save you some time, Mr. Chappelle. I'm not the biggest fan of Jack Bauer. I don't agree with the way he delegates authority and I don't like the way he runs operations. But since midnight last night you won't get me to disapprove of a single action he's taken."

Milo Pressman: "What do you think they're gonna do to Jack?"
Tony Almeida: "They're not gonna name a street after him."

Bob Ellis: "If you could read what's in my eyes, you'd crawl under a rock and cry."

Nina Myers: "Look, I realize this is a terrible time for you to discover all this."
Teri Bauer: "When do you think a good time would be, Nina?"

Nina Myers: "Maybe we should take another break."
Teri Bauer: "Maybe you should do your job, Nina. Don't you have a job to do?"
Nina Myers: "I wish it were that simple."
Teri Bauer: "Things tend to get complicated when you screw your boss."

Jack Bauer: "Sir, this has nothing to do with payback. This is simply the best way to nail these guys, period."

Sherry Palmer: "I will do anything to protect my family, David. Anything. Does that make me a bad person?"

Jack Bauer: "I'm sorry about last night."
George Mason: "What, shooting me in the leg with a tranq? Don't give it a second thought."

George Mason: "I gotta say, Jack, it never gets dull with you."

Jack Bauer: "Today is the second anniversary of Victor Drazen's death."
George Mason: "Happy Anniversary."

George Mason: " Last I checked, it wasn't part of my job description to explain my position to my subordinates."

Melanie: "You're daddy's little girl. You get everything handed to you."
Kim Bauer: "Shut up. I have been listening to this crap all day, about how I get everything I want, and how my life is so great, and how everybody else's life sucks. Well, you wanna know something? You don't know anything about me. Last night I was kidnapped, tied up in the back of a trunk, and then I got to see your friend Dan get shot in the head. You take all the bad luck you've had in your life, it wouldn't fit into half of what's happened to me in the last twenty-four hours. So messing me up may be harder than you think. But if you wanna? Bring it on. Here, outside, any place you like."

George Mason: "Maybe you should have taken a few more English lessons. "Trade" means we get something, too."

Jack Bauer: "We leak a story to the press that he was killed in the explosion."
Sherry Palmer: "You've got to be kidding."
Jack Bauer: "I've never been more serious in my life."

Teri Bauer: "You're going to be a father. Again."
Jack Bauer: "What are you saying, that you're pregnant?"
Teri Bauer: "Well, yes, that's generally how it works, Jack."

Jack Bauer: "Sweetheart, I promise you that everything's going to be okay. It's just been a really, really long day."

David Palmer: "There's something I want to tell you."
Patty Brooks: "Yes?"
David Palmer: "You're fired."

David Palmer: "Damn you if that child dies!..."

(speaking in Serbian)
Andre Drazen: “Yes?”
Nina Myers: “It’s Yelena”
Andre Drazen: “Why are you calling?”
Nina Myers: “Palmer is not dead.”
Andre Drazen: “What? “
Nina Myers: “It was a trick to make you believe. To keep the girl alive.“
Andre Drazen: “You’re sure of this?”
Nina Myers: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Victor Drazen: "You tell him that his daughter is dead. Her body was found floating in the harbour."
Nina Myers: "You're going to have to kill him. No mistakes. If he finds out I've lied to him, my cover will be blown."
Victor Drazen: "Of course we will kill him! That is the point!"

David Palmer: "After tonight I don't wanna see you again. I've heard it all before. And I don't care what this may do to my candidacy. And it's not because I don't wanna be president. I do. I just don't think you're fit to be the First Lady."

Nina Myers: "Jack, if you kill me, you won't know who I work for. You think I work for Drazen, but I don't."
Jack Bauer: "I trusted you, Nina."
Nina Myers: "I was just doing my job."
Jack Bauer: "Your job? My wife and daughter almost died today. How many people that trusted you lost their life today because you were doing your job? Walsh, or Jamey, Ellis? How many others?"
Nina Myers: "How many died because of you, Jack?"

George Mason: "Jack, like usual, I don't know whether to congratulate you or demand your resignation."

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